坦白说：我喜欢制定决心。作为一名调解员，“新年新气象”这件事让我心跳加速。几年前，我制定了不少于13 项决心，甚至还制作了一个方便的小图表来跟踪我的进度。
那么，我是否真的在全年都坚持了这些决心呢？嗯……没有。
也许您过去也遇到过类似的情况。或者您选择了另一个方向——坚持一个决心，因为它似乎是“正确”的事情，即使它并没有让您感觉更好或更快乐。
无论您 2020 年的决心是什么，如果您选择适合您性格类型的决心，您将有更大的成功机会。考虑到这一点，以下是针对每种类型的新年决心想法列表。
分析师
建筑师
87% 的建筑师表示，他们的幸福感更多地来自于自己的成就，而不是帮助别人完成任务。
决议：自愿。
志愿服务可能看起来像是决心世界中的“吃蔬菜”：有益健康、不足为奇且不太有趣。但如果您以建筑师的聪明才智来对待志愿服务，情况就不必如此。
绝大多数建筑师认为，自己做事比帮助别人更快乐。但是，正如您可能意识到的那样，人类对于什么能让他们真正快乐的预测能力很差。当然，我们有预感，但我们很少花时间理性地调查这些预感。那么，在 2020 年，为什么不挑战您的假设并进行实验，看看什么才是真正让您快乐的事情呢？报名参加志愿者机会并跟踪您之前、期间和之后的情绪。将结果与您专注于个人目标的日子进行比较。
当您在做这件事时，利用架构师的聪明才智找到方法来帮助您志愿参与的组织更高效、更有效地工作，无论是弄清楚如何加快食品储藏室的排队速度，还是想出一个新的筹款想法当地无家可归者收容所，或简化动物救援的应用基础设施。
逻辑学家
只有 35% 的逻辑学家表示他们对迄今为止所取得的成就感到满意。
解决方案：保留微型日记。
如果您是一名逻辑学家，您很可能对自己在生活中取得的成就感觉不太好。那么，这是因为您实际上还没有取得足够的成就吗？或者是因为您的直觉性格特质让您渴望伟大的事情并展望未来，而您的探索特质让您不安地寻找下一个伟大的事情？
剧透：您实际上并没有比其他人取得的成就少。您越是告诉自己，您不是那种能把事情做好的人，您就越不可能坚定地追求自己的目标——而且，您知道，真正把事情做好。
亲爱的逻辑学家，解决方案就是证据。每天晚上睡觉前，写一句话描述当天所做的一些值得做的事情，无论是读一本有趣的书，修理坏掉的厨房用具，还是铲邻居的人行道。虽然它们看起来很小，但这些日常的“胜利”却可以让您的生活富有成效、有价值——但前提是您记得您已经做到了这些。将这些句子收集在一个笔记本或日记中，这样当您对自己的成就感到沮丧时就可以参考它们。
指挥官
29% 的指挥官表示，他们通常全年都会坚持自己的决心——比任何其他性格类型的人都要多。
决心：磨练您的教练技巧。
如果您是一名指挥官，那么我不知道您为什么要读这篇文章。好吧，我开玩笑的。 （有点。）事实是，作为一名指挥官，您可能已经知道确定优先事项和完成工作的策略。
您可能想知道为什么每个人都不按照您的方式做事。您很可能经常向您的朋友和亲人提出如何提高效率的建议，但当他们不听时，您就会举手。事情是这样的：您的策略虽然听起来可能不错，但并不适合所有人。对您来说合理的努力可能对其他人来说是令人紧张的——而紧张很少是可持续的。
也就是说，您有能力影响周围的人，让他们变得更好。您只需要找到一种更有效的方法即可。今年，挑战自己，帮助您的朋友和亲人真正朝着他们的目标取得进展。这并不意味着告诉他们要做什么。相反，您需要跳出框框思考，提出正确的问题，考虑他们更深层次的动机，并仔细倾听，以找出对他们有用的方法。这并不容易，但幸运的是，您能做到。
Debaters
70% of Debaters say they’d love to direct a movie.
Resolution: Make art.
Debaters have a reputation for being outspoken adrenaline junkies who love controversy the way my dog loves her pink dragon toy – by which I mean, they love sinking their teeth into anything controversial and shaking it around.
But that’s only a small fraction of what makes a Debater a Debater. According to our research, 69% of people with this personality type describe themselves as “very artistic.” And 90% of Debaters say being creative is a “big part of who they are.”
So, this year, make art. Maybe you’ll do a photo essay on martial artists, create a Borat-style comedy persona, or rope some friends into making a short film together. (You may find yourself wanting to play the villain, and that’s totally cool.)
Fair warning: some misguided souls might try to tell you that Analysts aren’t artistic. Prove them wrong.
Diplomats
Advocates
Only 11% of Advocates say they set themselves “easy” New Year’s resolutions.
Resolution: Try something impossible.
Advocate personalities aren’t known for doing things halfway. In the past, you may have been told that you’re too intense, or that your expectations are too high, or that you need to be more reasonable. When people hear about your goals and ideas, they might reply, “But is that realistic?”
Sure, realistic goals are good – but they may not energize you the way a grand challenge does. In 2020, resolve to do something that seems impossible. Maybe you’ll challenge yourself to raise $100,000 for charity, help all of the animals at a local shelter find their forever homes, revitalize your hometown, or become a world-champion ballroom dancer. Whatever it is, go for something big.
One caveat: in a few months, you might forget that you chose this goal precisely because it seemed impossible – and then you might get frustrated. Before the clock strikes midnight on January 1, write a note to your future self. Remind yourself that the point of this resolution is to go after a grand challenge, not to achieve something “doable.” And keep that note handy as a motivator for when the going gets tough.
Mediators
87% of Mediators believe that if they had more self-discipline, they would have achieved more of their goals by now.
Resolution: Simplify.
Mediators are all about self-improvement, so you might have a list of resolutions a mile long. You might also have:
- a bookshelf crammed with books you thought would change your life,
- a closet full of gear for hobbies you thought would be fun, or
- a hundred browser tabs open with articles you really should get around to reading.
Mediators tend to think of themselves as lacking self-discipline – but that isn’t necessarily true. Instead, these personality types may feel inadequate because there are just so many things they want to do and learn and fix and change. But, alas, the more you surround yourself with unread books and half-finished projects, the more you’re at risk of convincing yourself that you’re not the kind of person who gets things done.
Resolve to give yourself a free pass to move on from anything that feels like unfinished business. Donate the unread books, let go of the unused gear, and close those unread browser tabs. In the process, you might free yourself from guilt you didn’t even know you were holding on to.
Protagonists
73% of Protagonists say they’re so used to taking care of others that they often forget about their own needs.
Resolution: Do something selfish.
Based on our research, Protagonists might be the health-nuttiest personality type.* For example, 75% of Protagonists say they take “great care” to sustain a healthy lifestyle – more than any other type. Additionally, 84% say that, for them, physical exercise is a good outlet for anger or stress, 83% say they feel more energetic after exercising, and 80% say exercise boosts their self-confidence.
*They’re also the type most likely to own several houseplants, but that’s another story.
“Great,” the Protagonists among you might be thinking. “So, we’re already doing everything right.” But Protagonists are also the personality type most likely to say they’re so focused on taking care of others that they forget their own needs.
Taking care of others is great and all, but it becomes unsustainable when you do it at your own expense. This year, why not set aside time to do something just for you? Take a day trip to the beach, go to a dance class, attend a seminar on houseplants – whatever feeds your soul. You might be surprised by just how different you feel on the other side.
Campaigners
84% of Campaigners say they often purchase items they had not planned on getting while shopping.
Resolution: Set a shopping ban.
Campaigners are spontaneous – it’s one of their most charming attributes. Who else would call you up on a random Tuesday and say, “Hey, want to go visit a historic mansion with this group of paranormal investigators I just met?”
If you’re a Campaigner, however, you might have noticed a weird paradox: being spontaneous now can make it hard to be spontaneous later. This is especially true when it comes to spending. Campaigner personalities who make one unplanned purchase after another may find themselves short on funds when a truly exciting opportunity shows up in the future – for example, if you decide to travel around the world with those paranormal investigators and make a documentary about them.
If your spending feels out of control, try a shopping ban: a set period of time when you don’t buy anything that isn’t a necessity. (And no, ghostbusting equipment is not a necessity.) Turn it into a creative experiment and look for fun ways to repurpose things you already have. In the long run, you might find that the creative challenge is nearly as rewarding as the financial freedom you create for yourself.
Sentinels
Logisticians
Only 20% of Logisticians say they give a lot of compliments.
Resolution: Master the art of the compliment.
Sure, there are plenty of self-serving reasons to compliment a person on something they’ve done well – hence the expression, “Flattery will get you everywhere.”
But compliments don’t have to be self-serving or phony – and thank goodness. A genuine compliment can motivate someone to keep going through adversity, help reinforce positive behavior, and strengthen relationships. How do you, as a Logistician, offer a compliment that’s helpful and meaningful? One strategy is to congratulate a person on something they’ve done (“I learned so much from your presentation!”) rather than complimenting a feature of theirs (“You have such great eyelashes.”)
Why not strive to give a genuine, meaningful compliment every day? It may not feel easy or natural at first, but with time you might find that it’s surprisingly enjoyable to share your positive opinion with someone.
Defenders
83% of Defenders say they usually give in to other people’s needs and desires at the cost of their own.
Resolution: Be a diva.
You know what stinks? Feeling unheard and unappreciated. Alas, many Defenders find it hard to speak their mind, demand recognition, and stand up for what they need. Because these personality types are so averse to rocking the boat, conventional advice about effective communication may not go far enough for them.
So here’s some unconventional advice: be a diva. Now, being a diva doesn’t have to mean being rude, difficult, or obnoxious. And it definitely doesn’t mean throwing a TV into a swimming pool like an old-school rock star.
Instead, think of being a diva as speaking openly, levelly, and honestly – even when other people might not love what you have to say. Believe it or not, this communication style can actually strengthen your relationships by preventing passive aggression and establishing a clear baseline.
The next time your usual communication style leaves you feeling frustrated or unheard, experiment with being a calm, polite, and assertive diva – and see if the situation improves.
Executives
Only 27% of Executives say their long-term goals change often.
Resolution: Do a life audit.
Few personality types would be excited at the prospect of doing an audit, but Executives just might be among those types. Fortunately, the audit we’re talking about doesn’t have anything to do with taxes or balance sheets.
Instead, set aside a few minutes at the beginning of each week to audit how you’re spending your time and energy. Only 27% of Executives say their major goals often change, which isn’t a bad thing – but it does mean that you need to check in with yourself regularly to make sure those goals still make sense for you.
So, every Sunday night or Monday night, take just a few minutes to make sure you’re putting your efforts where you really want them. It won’t take long, but it can save you a lot of time and energy in the long run.
Consuls
58% of Consuls say setting a resolution at the beginning of the year makes it easier to stick with – more than any other personality type.
Resolution: Make a fresh start.
Compared to other personality types, Consuls seem to care the most about setting resolutions at the start of a new year. That might be because of the clarity that comes with a 365-day commitment (or it might be because it feels so good to have a fresh start).
Nearly all Consuls – 97% – say they always do their best to finish what they’ve started, which is more than any other type. That can be a wonderful thing. But sometimes it’s all right to let go of what we’ve started. Taking a break isn’t necessarily a sign of weakness. Instead, it can be an opportunity to try something that might turn out even better.
This year, look for opportunities to create fresh starts for yourself. If a hobby isn’t enjoyable for you anymore, take a break from it. If you’re in over your head on a project, ask for help – or see if you can delegate it to someone else altogether. And if you decide on February 15 that your New Year’s resolution isn’t making your life any better, then don’t be afraid to let it go and try something else.
Explorers
Virtuosos
50% of Virtuosos say they stick with their resolutions for only a few days.
Resolution: Don’t make a resolution.
Resolutions don’t seem to be in Virtuosos’ nature. Only 27% of these personality types say they set resolutions. They’re also significantly less likely than other types to say they set difficult resolutions, with only 11% agreeing.
So, if you’re a Virtuoso, it seems you have two options: work with your personality or fight against it. While expanding your comfort zone can be an important part of growth, working against your nature is something else entirely.
Many Virtuosos have a rebellious streak, and they may want to rebel against even their own resolutions. This year, skip the resolution-setting and the painful self-discipline. Instead, find ways to use your rebellious energy for good. Maybe you’ll try something that people tell you can’t be done, go deeper into a pastime that other people find uncool, or tackle a project that no one else wants to take on. Whatever you do, it’ll be 100% you – and that’s just as it should be.
Adventurers
78% of Adventurers say they have a hard time talking about their achievements.
Resolution: Brag a little.
Adventurers do great things – but do they talk about those great things? Not so much. This humility can be a beautiful thing, especially because it’s so often underpinned by a sincere desire to see others shine.
But there is a benefit to speaking up about the good things we’ve done. Acknowledging your successes can help you see yourself as the kind of person who does good things. And that can help when people in your life are trying to mold you to their agendas, even if it’s something as simple as a friend badgering you to hang out when you know you need to study. (More than half – 52% – of Adventurers say they tend to give up easily when faced with someone stubborn.)
Speak up about some of the good things you do this year – whether that’s making progress on a creative project, mastering a new recipe, or writing a paper of which you’re really proud. Acknowledging those successes, however small, will make it easier for you to stand your ground the next time someone tries to talk you out of doing what you need to do.
Entrepreneurs
67% of Entrepreneurs prefer conversations with a group of people rather than one person.
Resolution: Start a support group.
“Excuse me,” you might be thinking, “but do the words ‘Entrepreneur’ and ‘support group’ really belong in the same sentence?”
Hear us out: sometimes, the best way to enrich your life is to push against your assumptions. That doesn’t mean acting inauthentically. It means testing the boundaries of what you think you would enjoy or find helpful. How else can you actually find out what will add value to your life?
If you’re an Entrepreneur, you probably have a reputation for being rational and ambitious. That’s just one aspect of your personality, however. You also excel at helping people maintain perspective and work through their problems – and you know how to evaluate and adopt good ideas when you hear them.
So, this year, why not put those traits to work by starting a support group? Don’t worry, it can be practical rather than super serious or emotional. If you’re trying to learn a new language, for example, why not start a discussion group? Or, if you’re trying to become a better coder, why not set up a monthly coffee date with people who share your interest? You might just be amazed by how gratifying it is to help – and be helped – by others.
Entertainers
42% of Entertainers say they falter in their good habits often, and an additional 38% say they falter occasionally.
Resolution: Set a microhabit.
What’s a microhabit, you ask? A microhabit is a super quick, easy-to-complete action – such as flossing one tooth or putting out your exercise clothes – that helps you cultivate positive habits.
Creating a preposterously easy daily habit can be the gateway to making big changes in your life, and not only because flossing one tooth makes you that much more likely to floss the rest. Microhabits help you view yourself as the kind of person who gets things done. Once you believe that, it becomes so much easier to create and maintain momentum. That can make a surprisingly big difference for Entertainer personalities.
Commit to doing one easy microhabit each day, and make it really, really easy. For example, instead of vowing to make your bed, resolve to pull up the sheet or straighten the pillows – or instead of committing to going to the gym every morning, commit to putting on your gym clothes as soon as you wake up. Sure, you can go ahead and make the bed or head to the gym afterward, but even if you don’t, you’re still maintaining your goal streak. That will help you feel so much more ready to tackle and keep up with your goals in the future.
You Tell Us: Will This Year Be Different?
So, dear readers, what resolutions will you be making for 2020 – and how will you help yourself stick with them? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
And, if you have a friend who needs to read this article, send it their way!