除非您正处于热恋期，否则您和您的伴侣很可能已经学会了如何处理财务这个微妙的问题。
金钱问题是导致关系紧张和分歧的最普遍原因之一。也许这就是为什么这么多夫妻避免谈论它们的原因——这样做可能会让人觉得进入危险的领域。提起金钱问题就像是在挑起争端。这个话题可能会触及我们内心最深处的不安全感，并让我们处于守势。坦率地说，通常避免谈论这个问题会更容易。
关系中的金钱问题涉及所有收入人群。因此，虽然“钱越多，问题越多”是真理，但“没钱，问题越多”和“钱刚好够，问题越多”也是真理。金钱冲突可能是夫妻面临的最普遍的未解决问题，无论他们赚多少钱。
那么性格类型与金钱和人际关系有什么关系呢？实际上，关系很大。您的性格影响两个关键因素——您对金钱本身的态度（您如何预算、消费和为未来做准备）以及您与伴侣沟通的方式。
在本文中，我们将探讨这两个因素，特别是它们与可能破坏任何关系的财务联盟的三个主要问题的关系。
不同的夫妻，相同的问题：债务、财务欺骗和目标不一致
人际关系中的绝大多数金钱问题可以追溯到三个简单的问题：
对支出、储蓄、个人债务和夫妻债务的态度相互矛盾
财务“作弊”，或向您的伴侣隐瞒支出
财务目标不明确或不一致
为了克服这些常见的财务障碍，每个人都必须反思自己独特的财务习惯和信念。您必须意识到自己对这些问题有何贡献，以便与您的伴侣一起解决这些问题。
对资金管理和支出的不同态度
我们对金钱的态度的核心是我们进行规划的方式。在我们的“计划”调查中，我们问：“即使您已经计划了特定的日常生活，您通常也会在任何特定时刻都按照自己的意愿行事吗？”尽管这个问题并不是专门针对财务问题，但结果具有启发性，并指出判断型人格类型和探索型人格类型之间存在很大差异。
近 90% 的灵活型人士证实，他们通常更喜欢随心所欲，而判断型人士的这一比例约为 43%。现在我们来看看这个问题：“您在花钱时通常会遵守预算吗？”来自我们的“您有多节俭？”民意调查。
正如您所看到的，判断型和灵活型之间的显着差异体现在他们花钱和规划财务的方式上——尤其是在预算方面。
这些数据并不能证明所有灵活类型的人对金钱都持有粗心的态度，但他们更有可能以与一般生活相同的灵活性来处理财务问题。虽然并非所有判断类型都保证是更有纪律的资金管理者，但他们更有可能对支出和储蓄采取结构化方法。
如果一段关系中的两个人有两种截然不同的理财策略——或者即使他们以完全相同的态度处理任务——问题很快就会出现。债务管理很容易误入歧途，储蓄目标可能无法实现，不受控制的支出可能导致难以履行某些义务。与此同时，过度僵化会造成不健康的权力动态，产生怨恨情绪，或激发叛逆或秘密支出。
关键在于找到平衡——一旦双方都承认自己的个性在态度和相应行为中所扮演的角色，平衡就会容易得多。从那里开始，就有可能共同培育一个适合每个人的健康（且财务稳定）的中间立场。
人格与财务不忠
没有信任，亲密关系就会动摇。
所谓的“财务欺骗”可能会削弱夫妻的财务状况并破坏他们的整体关系。当一个人在商定的预算之外花钱并向伴侣隐瞒支出时，关系中的信任就会受到破坏。
当这种情况发生时，这对夫妇的财务稳定性可能会受到威胁。秘密支出和债务往往会影响不知情的合作伙伴。您可能会发现共同的目标变得不可能实现，如果情况极端，您可能不得不承担法律后果。
我们查看了“诚实”调查和“人格的阴暗面”调查，发现了一些有趣的见解。
Despite the fact that around 97% of all personality types believe that it’s important to be seen as trustworthy, nearly 35% are willing to sacrifice honesty for the sake of being polite. This is particularly true for people with a strong Feeling personality trait or Turbulent Identity. Diplomats, who all share the Feeling trait, are much more likely to avoid telling the truth in order to keep the peace.
The Thinking trait, however, is also a good indicator of a person’s willingness to tell a lie. Only about 41% of Analysts (who share the Thinking trait), for example, claim that they never deceive others. If you flip that statistic, nearly 60% of them are willing to tell a lie, especially if it were to benefit them directly. Thinking types are also much more likely to admit that they would manipulate some people if it meant getting ahead. Nearly 80% of Entrepreneurs (ESTPs), for example, say they might be willing to twist the truth if it helped them meet their goals.
So Feeling personality types might lie to avoid conflict, while Thinking types might just be trying to protect their interests. And while almost everyone agrees that honesty is best, a significant percentage of people are willing to bend the rules, no matter which Role they belong to.
Willingness to cheat in a financial sense brings consequences felt well beyond the budget. For the cheater, especially those Feeling and Turbulent types, anxiety and overthinking usually go hand in hand with keeping secrets. For the person having to deal with the financial infidelity, it may become a struggle to trust their partner in other aspects of their life together.
It would be dangerous to suspect that your partner may be more willing to lie or financially cheat based solely on their personality traits. Deceptive spending is more likely the consequence of a preexisting conflict around money than of any given personality trait. Fortunately, that sense of conflict can be mitigated by working to understand both your and your partner’s attitudes and tendencies around money management. With a heightened sense of understanding, it’s possible to foster a spirit of transparency and teamwork around shared finances.
Different Personalities, Different Goals, and Money Problems
Even if you and your partner understand each other’s unique money “mentality,” and there is absolute transparency and trust when it comes to finances within your relationship, problems can arise when you don’t share common goals.
Committing to a relationship where finances are mingled requires negotiation and agreement about what your goals and priorities are, both individually and as a couple.
Maybe one of you dreams of spending your retirement traveling the world, while the other dreams of moving to an off-grid cabin in the mountains. Or maybe one partner thinks it’s important to live in a certain kind of neighborhood or drive a certain kind of car, while the other places more importance on frugality and saving for their children’s future education expenses.
The responses provided in our “Marriage and Weddings” survey are telling. In it, we ask, “What is the most important thing for couples to agree on before marriage?” Given the options of financial planning, children, career goals, lifestyle, and “something else,” at the time of this writing, only about 12% of all respondents (across every personality type) feel that a financial management plan is a top priority. But if you think about it, every single one of the options provided in the survey directly impacts a couple’s spending. Disagreement on any one of them can create a potential sore spot in the relationship.
This isn’t to say that when you enter a partnership, all of your goals have to be shared. Each partner can and should have their own passions and dreams. But, as a couple, you have to be in agreement on the big picture. Only when each of you is clear about the other’s individual aspirations and mutually agreed upon priorities is it possible to create a financial game plan as a team. This allows both of you to accomplish what you envision for the future – and avoid conflict in the meantime.
Self-Awareness and Mutual Growth Equals Fewer Money Problems
When trying to solve the money problems that you have in your relationship, it’s helpful to start by recognizing whether – and how – you and your partner are dealing with any of these three critical money issues. From there, you can use personality theory to help identify your financial strengths and recognize your weaknesses, both as individuals and as a couple.
自我认知和个人成长是解决金钱冲突的第一步。通过诚实地了解您们各自如何处理共同的财务现实，您们可以一起寻找有意义的解决方案。您们的关系不必成为统计数据。
您觉得您的性格如何影响您的消费和储蓄习惯？您的伴侣又如何呢？您独特的个人规范如何影响您关系中的金钱动态？在您结束本文时，我们邀请您花一些时间思考这些问题。如果您觉得受到启发，请随时在下面的评论中留下您的想法。
进一步阅读
- 您知道您伴侣的性格类型吗？如果不知道，请让他们参加我们的免费性格测试，或者您可以使用我们的“类型猜测”工具来判断您的伴侣。
- 尝试一下我们的高级夫妻分析工具，获得个性化的见解，了解您的个人性格特征如何在您的关系中相互作用。
- 消费和储蓄风格与性格类型
- 个人代理：每个人个性的基础
- 花费超出应花费的范围？